…IDK

So this is the outcome of years of holding “it” in. Of letting “it” slide
Ihave to keep thinking of my mom and dad….
No mother or father should have to bury their child. But all I want to do is sleep…..I don’t feel anything when I’m asleep. …. if I think a nice thought and fall asleep I’ll go in to nice dreams. … thats all I want…..bc the nightmares of this world are becoming too much for my mind to handle. Pray everyone says… but what about when theres so many voices that idont know which one is God. Itruthfuly just want it all to stop. ilooked up ways to go peacefully at work today….but ikept thinking of my mom and dad. This thing…”it” is eating me from the inside out. Im tired…tired of talking tired of listening…tired of being tired…tired of being. Idont know what “it” is ijust know that icant talk about “it”. “Its” to deep to be talked about. Ijust want someone who can make me feel better….and ihave yet to find that. Ihave a girlfriend…..but idont think she really understands what im going through within myself….and icant be mad at her, ispent 20 minutes in the bathroom crying today at work….not bc of her but bc iwish she would take a second to understand that its not always about her…that ihave serious issues im battling with and sometimes…ijust wish…idk.
im ready to get rid of “it” once and for all
But ijust keep thinking of my mom and dad